(This was supposed to go out on Friday, but I was having some Internet issues.)
Avast, me hardys!
In me landlubbin' days, I started me a farm in da Valley O the Four Blowing Winds. But I've had more work than I could bloody do. I needed me a scurvy lad to come help. Unfortunate as a no good swashbuckler, I wasn't best friends with any of the fine people o the valley.
I set course to make one of them me bestest friend. I didn a care really which one. There be work to be done and I needed a someone ta do it, but what I needed was a bit of leverage.
I started all sorts of looting, and pillagin' in the Hozen area. Whilst I be doing my best to be the scourge on da Hozen, a call went up for help from me mateys in the guild.
She was a fine lass who worked powers of magic untold. We was joined by a powerful warrior.
As would befit me piratical past, we ventured out onto the high seas.We repelled tha Horde boarding party, We swung over to da Horde ship to pillage some explosives.
But there be a Lieutenant Boltblaster there and he bested me and threw me overboard.
I had some tougher armor in me bag and my old sword and board. I strapped that on and rejoined the fray.
By now my compatriots had found Admiral Hagman. We gave him a chance to parlay but he refused. The Admiral would go down with this ship. Suit yerself I thought. As we fought there be cannonballs droppin all over the ship. The lady mage fell overboard first, but the warrior wasn't too far behind.
Now, it was just me and the Admiral. He smiled a crooked smile sensin da victory, but I was a tough nut. I used every dirty trick I knew. My Light's Hammer, Seal o Insight, Word of Glory all nice and Bastioned up. I called upon da Light for Divine Protection and for the Guardian of Ancient Kings.
I would be pushed to da very edge, but in the end I prevailed to the cheers of me crew. We said our goodbyes and paid me a visit to Taijing the Cyclone to get me a fine mug of grog. He told me he had a huge cache of gold Doubloons for any adventurer who could impress him with a tale. And impress him I did indeed. Not only did the chest have the promised gold, but a nice belt of the sturdiest armor.